You Are Not Alone
by Rima Akien
Summary: Their time together was coming to an end, they are no longer children. Their last mission is to help one another one last time; and as Raven tries to open herself up to her feelings and her friends, she realizes they need her help just as much as she needs theirs. But can they all find their happiness before it was time to choose their separate paths?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

There was something very haunting about the feeling of Titan Tower these days, the group was starting to feel more distant, too normal, for the superhero lives that they had led since the team's beginnings. It seemed that there were more frequent stretches in time where there was no need for them to leave the tower in a rush to save Jump City, their alarm was a seldom sound that left a ringing silence over the hesitant conversations between them all. They all knew it was beginning to become that time, where the team will be disassembled. There would be no need for them at all soon, they will all become adults in this world meant to go off on other ventures in their plans. But for now, there was still time.

Raven, for one, still felt she had a bit more to learn from her friends. Before they all disappeared she wanted to really be a friend to them. After her father's defeat, Raven had become more in control of her powers, and able to show more emotion- but habits were hard to break. In fact, despite being able to, Raven still rarely left her room, she did not partake in many of the conversations, and she let little emotion slip through. It was still a work in progress. Though not many would actually notice the differences, Raven could feel the changes as they changed her, and wore her out by the end of the day. It was all small things, brief glimpses of a more welcoming Raven the Titans never really got to see before.

Most of her days ended with the longest running sessions of video games with Beast Boy, him howling in her ear, as he slammed the buttons on the controller while she sat on her calves on the couch, as calm as always. Sometimes Raven would help Cyborg with dinner, especially after times Beast Boy would crowd the menu with his tofu demands. In fact, if Raven had to admit it, but she won't yet, Cyborg teaching her the basics in cooking would probably be one of the things that will help Raven the most when her friends are no longer there for her at every waking moment. Starfire was as tricky to be around as Beast Boy. But where BB was loud, overbearing, and did not know how many jokes were too many; Star was a completely different problem. She often wanted to bring their adventures "out to the world of Earth," and that often caused a lot of headaches due to Star's nativity, and lack of cultural understanding. Raven's closet was stuffed full with clothes from shopping trips, and Raven's stomach had churned too often from Starfire's insistence of making "happy pudding." It never made anyone in the tower happy much but her- which is why they still let her.

However, after long days of trying to keep up with everyone else, after trying not to let any of her friends push her emotions too far; whether that be frustration, or joy, it was the morning she woke up that were the most subtle, yet favorite of her changes. Raven was always early to rise, she would wake just before the sun, and meditate on the roof before venturing down to the kitchen to make herself some tea. Now, when Raven padded her feet across the hall she started the coffee machine, and set her tea pot to boil, and waited for both as she meditated with the view of the large window in the living room. Before the coffee was even done he would be there, pulling their mugs from the cabinets. Neither of them felt the need to say something in the morning wake, and he always patiently sat as he waited for her meditation to be done. When she sat at the counter with him, handing her the mug of warm tea. Robin would always smile as he did so. Sometimes, Raven would walk into the living room, and find Robin was already there, starting the coffee machine, and placing the kettle on the stove. On those mornings Raven was sure to smile at him first before she began meditating.

She could never really pinpoint when their ritual began, she always remembered both of them being early risers, each addicted to their own form of warm awakening. Slowly, as the time passed closer to the waking hours of the rest of the team, the two would start whispered conversations. There was never anything too detailed, most of it would be on what the other had been reading, the newspaper, or calming stories. As the others awoke and ventured in to start breakfast, and begin their day, Robin and Raven would be calm and collected and ready to begin their day.

These small victories of progress for Raven felt amazing, it made life at the Tower so much more lively. She was becoming more of a companion, more than an onlooker. While their time together was growing shorter, Raven began to appreciate it more as well, as she looked around the breakfast table. Starfire humming loudly as she poked her food, Beast Boy and Cyborg scarfing down their food, and Robin watching over all of them from the rim of his cup of coffee.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

"BB, you are going down!" Cyborg's scream shook the couch, and popped all close by eardrums. Raven, looking up from her book gave a scowl, her eyebrows furrowed. Their battles on the flat screen, arguments over their controllers, were not uncommon. Robin and Starfire seemed to still be having a pleasant conversation in their own corner of the couch, leaning in to hear one another over the surround sound speakers. They were cozy, and comfortable. Everyone seemed so light in their auras, smiles on their faces. Raven though was slumped, and curled into herself. There was a tight constricting feeling in her chest. It made her look up at every time there was an even louder noise in this battle of being heard. Smaller, and smaller, became the space around her. Suffocating, and trapping her in a small box though the space between Raven and her friends, at the same time, started to feel farther apart. The space around her seeming tighter, darker… There was a sense of togetherness that was dissipating within her.

Never had her motions every seemed so sudden. With a quick jerk to her feet, Raven stood, with her book at hand, staring at her friends. As her self encouragement for time spent with friends retreated, so did she. Raven gravitated down the hall, letting the noise disappear behind her. In her room once more, with its dark hanging air, and empty atmosphere, the violet haired girl reasoned it was okay to escape, just this one time. In here Raven did not feel alone, for there was no one else, no group to label her other to make her feel on the outside. It hadn't been that long time since Raven had retreated to her room like this, it was just the other day where she dodged a group trip to the pizzeria in favor of the then secluded tower. Sighing to herself Raven wished she had as much courage as she did in the face of the criminals and villains than faced when it came to the life she had to lead.

Just when Raven was finally betraying herself, and giving up on the whole prospect of even trying to connect with the rest of the world anymore there was a assured knock on her door. Never one to let anyone in her room willingly, she went to the door and opened it. There she was met by a pair of masked eyes on a tall, slender frame.

"Yes?" Raven said, her voice calm, and keeping the sudden surprise of his appearance in her chest.

"You left really quietly, I didn't realize." The mask covered the emotions he held in his eyes, and Raven was unsure if her leaving was a sad event, or just a matter of fact.

"So?" Raven asked arching her brow

"I wanted to make sure you eat." Robin told her, staring into her face. He did not move away, taking up the space of the doorway. He only tilted his body for a moment to allow her to go first. She watched him carefully as she stepped out, and walked toward the kitchen.  
"You didn't have to come get me, you can eat without me."  
"I know."

It was a rare occurrence for the team to eat together, so Raven was surprised that Robin had come to get her to join them. However, when they got to the living room the sight that greeted them was a lot more common place. All across the floor were disgusting, spilling plastic wrappers, sauce covered plates abandoned on the table, and barbecue covered teammates cheering, and causing mayhem. Cyborg and Beast Boy had apparently grabbed their wings, and went right back to their game, the bones jerkily sticking out of their mouths. Starfire was calling out the names she had given to each of their characters, one of them dubbed "Charles," and though it wasn't really certain which one that was, she was cheering for their victory anyways.

Raven and Robin looked at one another, her eyes a dark glint in her eyes, sarcastic. The look on his face was not one that was unsimilar. In fact, the look they were sharing was something the two of them often understood with one another; who understood the craziness of their friends, and could look at one another, and say everything they're thinking in that single look. Shrugging Robin just led her over to the kitchen, ignoring the mess around him. Raven stepped over the crumbs, and garbage, following him, only looking up when Robin holds out her plate in front of her. There was no hint of emotion on his face that gave him away from behind his mask, so she took it without a word. Once more he walked away, stopping to look at her. "Come on, Raven."

It wasn't such an odd thing, with Robin being the team leader, to be following him. But Raven was always the one to question him, made him explain himself when she was unsure. It's was what pushed the team forward. The first and second in command, Robin and Raven, were what kept the team running like a well oiled machine. But this wasn't a mission, this wasn't a battle. This was their everyday lives.

When Raven found where they ended up it was not where she would have expected. The walls were covered in articles, and security camera pictures. Notes were thumb tacked on to several places. She had only been here a number of times, Robin's room looked like he did not live here, but worked here. He had set his plate at his overcrowded table before going over to his bed and brushing everything off. Papers fluttered, weapons discarded, and clunking to the floor. "you can sit here, Raven." Robin said, gesturing to the spot he cleared for her before sitting down in a chair not too far away. Raven ate quietly, glancing up at Robin every now and then. Neither of them spoke, the atmosphere much like their mornings.

When he wasn't looking Robin's face was in the shadows of the light, and Raven was almost sure that his spikes were becoming longer than she remembered in her mind. Thinking back to the day they all banded together as a team, Raven could now spot the differences between him from then to now. He was definitely taller than her, where he once only met her height by the match of his hair. Now Raven realized she had begun to look slightly higher to find his hidden eyes. He was leaner, the muscles under his suit more defined than they were when he was, really, just a boy. The differences were not all good, though. She could see the paleness of his face, the restless wake of urgency in his actions. He looked as if he did not sleep much, moved as if he must attend to something at every moment. Robin, when had they all stopped paying attention? Knowing did not make Raven feel better, it made her scared. He was not someone who liked to share about himself. Of them all, it was his story that they did not know- or rather his story she should not know.

When Raven stood with her plate when she was done, ready to leave. "Raven?" She looked at Robin, her eyes meeting the whites of his mask. "You can join me for dinner whenever you want, you know. You don't have to hide away." Surprise was stuck in her throat, and she tried not to show it. With a simple hum, and a rush to escape she dumped her plate into the sink.

"Friend Raven, your face is kind of pink." Starfire said, as she poking Raven's cheek.

"Don't touch." she said bluntly, before retreating to the couch.

"Hey, Rae, why don't you play with us?" Beast Boy hollered as he tossed a controller at her. He gave her a wide, snaggletooth grin, and a nod to the screen. The yelling didn't seem so bad anymore, and the pair of eyes in the doorway were as relaxed as his smile. Robin shared a knowing look of courage, before going back to his room his shoulder slumped like mountains.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Perhaps it had been because there had been no emergency lately, but when the alarm sounded all the Titans went into panic mode. There were many bumps, and crashes. Even Raven found herself mumbling curses under her breath, breaking an unused light bulb in her room from the feelings of frustration. It was a surprise that it was only when they made it to the living room that the rest of the team realized that it wasn't even the cry for help when they needed to jump into action. Instead they were greeted with Robin standing there with his arms crossed. "Our timing has gotten slower." He said, his face blank, and unreadable. "It's time to train. We need to stay on top of our game, whether we keep getting calls or not." 

Beast Boy was the first to protest, he looked at his watch, and whined loudly, "Robin! It's only four a.m.!" Turning into a big, green panda, he yawned, and rubbed his eyes. "I should be hibernating!" BB continued, turning back into himself. 

"Well, when we can start catching the alarms, and actually stay on the top of our game, then you can complain about how early we have to wake up to work out, and practice." Robin walked off in the direction of the training room, his aura a storm that rushed by Raven. He was angry, and unsettled. But it wasn't because of their lack of need in crime fighting, nor the team's lateness to this drill. It was something else Raven couldn't put her finger on. Starfire looked at the rest of the team, worry and confusion in her eyes, while Cyborg and Beast Boy shared frustrated angry looks. Whenever Robin was in a mood he took it out on everyone else. His competitive, and obsessive behavior drove the team wild, and more than not it just fueled their anger to be thrown at him. Raven knew this training session wasn't going to be very happy for the team. 

"Starfire, would you focus! you're not even hitting it!" Robin yelled at the Tamaranian girl, the pink headed girl's eyes heated up to a daring green, her hands aglow. Her eyes right on Robin as she tossed a beam at the mannequin, disintegrating it. 

"Dude! What is up with you today?" Cyborg yelled, from across the room. The room got eerily quiet, the silence something that had not fell upon the training room since they entered, but here they all were, staring at their leader, waiting for some kind of explanation to his behavior this morning. They were met with none. Instead their leader brushed off their looks, and headed straight for the punching bag. Continuously kicking, and abusing the hanging bag, he let out his emotions. It was not intentional, Raven knew, after all Robin was a private person, but being an empath, his emotions were being hurled at her like a freight train. His anger, his frustration, his disappointment- his… Loneliness?

As the rest of the Titans began to get back to their training, Raven stood there for a beat longer, staring at Robin. She couldn't understand why he was lonely, he wasn't like Raven. Where she must be contained, and controlled, Robin was freely able to express his emotions. She found herself jealous more than once of his ability to feel as much as he did. Free to be as happy, or as joyous as he wanted. With the hovering fog of anger, and aggression Raven decided not to tag it any longer, and she left the room, disappearing between the floorboards.

"Raven! Where are you going?" Robin hollered, noticing the lack of her presence quickly. She had already evaporated downstairs when he decided to follow her, his steel toe boots stomping down the halls of the tower. The rest of the team looked at one another in worry. They had all become use to leaving Raven alone after the first few months of her in the team. Where she had once destroyed the tower in her wake, her emotions unchecked wreaked havoc. Even though now she it had been a long time, and a great many things since, no one ever really pushed Raven like such. Robin, must be off some hinge for him to go after her.

Her door was open before he even got there, and he entered without knocking, the door closing mechanically after him, blocking out the show from the other Titans. "Raven, why did you walk out of training? We are not done yet, so, get back up there." His voice was clipped in the way of a soldier. Looking at him her eyes slates of unexpressed emotions, Raven stood there with her cloak removed. Her face was blank for a few seething moments, before her eyes went to slits, and she stepped closer to him.

"I don't know what your problem is, Robin, but you seem to forget that I can feel everything you feel. You especially, after everything. You know me better than anyone so I don't know what it is you think you are achieving right now by verbally attacking your friends, and the attitude you have right now, but it's not helping you."

"I didn't ask for you to be connected with me that much! I didn't ask for you to go into my mind!" Robin yelled, he brushed everything else off that she had said, and his anger was still swelling. But Raven didn't seem taken aback, nor surprised.

"Why don't you go somewhere else to calm down, before you have the rest of the team placing you at the wrong end of their own wrath." Raven warned him, her hard violet eyes making sure he realized she would be one of the people who would side against him now as well. Their eyes were electric, sparked, and heated. Somewhere in the room there was a crash of books falling from their place, her emotions overwhelming for the moment had gotten the better of her. That was when Robin decided to leave her room, pushing past the crowd of their friends standing on the other side of the door.

"I shall go make sure he does not leave in that mood that he is in, friend Raven." Starfire said, floating down the hall after Robin, quietly. Raven just looked at the other two male members of the team, knowing they had their own input in what was going on with their leader.

"Do you understand what is going on with the guy?" Cyborg asked from the doorway, not daring to enter her room the way Robin had. Beast Boy on the other hand saw an open door and took it as an invitation and waltzed in.

"Yea, Rae, you were in that dude's head, can't you just like- do it again? Get him to calm down? Maybe let us sleep a bit?" BB said, making faces, his snaggle tooth on display. Raven's eyes darkened in black, her anger pushing him back out the door. "Okay- that's a no." Beast Boy said, rubbing the back of his head.

"I think we all realize this has more to do than a drill not going as planned." Cyborg said, looking at BB and shaking his head. The green skinned friend should have known better, only Robin would dare to do something like enter Raven's room. Raven placed her cloak back on, needing the cover of it in their presence, feeling all too much exposed.

"I don't know." Raven said, her voice flat, but her overhanging worried thoughts weighed on their chests. "I really don't." Looking to the side, in the direction she could sense him in the tower, she couldn't help but think, _"Robin… What's wrong?"_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Raven sat there with her cup of tea chilling in her hands, the chill of fall was seeping through the large windows, and her mind was too preoccupied to allow her enough quiet to meditate properly. Instead, she had sat at the counter, listening to the clock in the kitchen ticking, counting down the seconds the coffee in the pot became bitter, and cold. This was the third day that Robin had not come down for his usual cup of coffee. The day after the drill he had come down right as everyone else was waking, and apologized with his back turned to everyone as he poured his coffee. He remained quiet, and isolated himself the rest of the day, and the day after that he rarely left his room at all.

Sitting there, it felt odd, for him not to be there with her. Raven wasn't sure when she had become so use to his presence in the morning. They did not speak much at all in times like these, but here she sat blankly feeling more alone than she did when they sat in silence. Robin had brushed off her questioning looks when he appeared yesterday to get his dinner. His body was curved in a way she had never seen, as if he were about to be sick, folding into himself. His hands shook under the weight of the plate, only ever so slightly, his strength gone. While his mask may be able to hide the emotions in his eyes, the falling grimace was not something as easily hidden. _Robin, what happened to you?_

"He still hasn't come out, huh?" Beast Boy's voice startled Raven so much that the mug in her hand shattered, spilling her tea all over her, and the counter. "Sorry." He said, surprised himself that the girl had been startled so much. He had never been able to sneak up on Raven, he doesn't think anyone ever had. He passed her a paper towel from the kitchen, spotting the still full coffee pot.

"Thanks." Raven said wiping herself down. "And no, he hasn't come out." She did not look up at him, but not feeling the need to say more, but feeling even more stirring in the Tower. Cyborg, and Starfire would be joining them in a moment. Trying to reach out and sense Robin, she could simply feel the resting, ever so still, weight of him in his room across the tower. The heavy clouds of emotions confusing, and jumbled.

When Cyborg came in he went straight to the fridge, pulling out whatever he would need for breakfast. Starfire on the other hand looked around, and looked at Raven, and Beast Boy with a somber look. Her eyes were wide and teary. "Has Robin not join us all yet?" She asked her voice pleading to prove her wrong. She was only given silence.

"Something's up, guys, and it's obvious he isn't going to tell us." Cyborg said, he voice leveled. "So, all we can do it just be there for him."

"We must remind Robin that he is our friend." Starfire insisted, "I can make him some happy pudding, that might it may help his mood very much so, won't it?" She was cheerful about the prospect but everyone else had flinched at the thought of more of Starfire's happy pudding.

"Uh, Star, I don't think that would work for this situation…" BB said, uncertain of how to retort without offending the Tamaranian.

"What we should do, is make him so bacon!" Cyborg chimed in, already slapping slabs of the sliced meat into a frying pan.

"Cyborg! Tofu! Not meat!" Beast Boy hollered, attempting to jump on his friends back. Starfire, chiming in her own yelling, stressed that it should be happy pudding. With those three arguing Raven knew there would be no change, so she decided to take the matters into her own hands and set off down the wall with a fresher cup of coffee, steaming after it was remade.

"Robin, open up." Raven demanded, knocking on his room door, she could feel him shuffling inside, sense his disturbance at her presence. She was sure, with their connection, he could also sense her worry, but she refused to let that sway her. She was second in command, and the other three were hopeless. It all came down to her. When he opened the door she could see how green in the face he looked, worn out, and tired. "Have you even slept?" She asked him blatantly, raising an eyebrow at him. Robin just stared at her for an offbeat before shrugging his shoulders, and walking back into his room, letting her follow him inside.

He threw himself wearily onto the single chair, and pushed his fingers through his hair. He huffed a sigh, he covered his eyes with his palm. Everything about him screamed exhaustion. "Here, I know you won't go to sleep now, so at least drink this." she said, nudging his mug into his hands. Robin let the weight of the cup pull his hands down, and rest it on his knees. He seemed almost empty, filled with an insensible kind of sorrow that he tried to block her from feeling.

"They are all worried out there." Raven told him, still standing at his side. "Star is about two male team member's away from making you pudding." She told him, but the sarcastic joke didn't even make him lift his face to meet hers. "We are worried about you, you know." She saw the way his fingers clenched around the cup, the only sign that he had heard her. "I-"

But Raven would never get to tell him what it was she would have opened up about, because their heads had snapped up at the sound of wailing. Red lights around the tower blinking. Silence for only a beat between the five members before they all sprung into action.

This wasn't a drill.

When they got to the source of the problem, Jinx and the HIVE hijacking Stanford &amp; Son's Jewelry Store, it almost seemed like they had gotten the old Robin back. He heralded out commands, and flew into his attacks. Nothing could have prepared them for what had happened.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"Robin! Stop!" Raven should have known better than to throw herself over him, to stop him, she should have used her powers. But the titans were all much too shocked, stunned into paralysis over the events that were occurring. Here Robin was, with the police sirens surrounding them, with most of the restrained HIVE members tied up and awaiting arrest, and with Gizmo under Robin's knee, unconscious. Under Robin's fists, Gizmo was bleeding from his head, yellow and purple bruises already blossoming from the places that were already visible. Robin, it seemed, snapped. He was gritting his teeth, and treating Gizmo's unconscious body like the punching bag back at the tower. Repeating, and repeating the same combos, with the same brutal strength, over and over again. It was to the horror of the titans, who watch him from the sidelines paralyzed in their shock, as their leader began to seemingly crumble before them. 

While Raven watched at first, stricken by the sheer sight of Robin truly out of control, she snapped out of her panic sooner than the others. She reacted too quickly, without thinking it through like she normally would. The sirens were blocking her thought process, anyways. She knew if the Titans messed up this majorly just once, in a time where the city was waning off of the need for them, the group would be disbanded sooner rather than later. Raven could feel the constriction in her chest, the rage, and the sadness being thrown at her from Robin unintentionally. When the flashing lights were painting her vision blue and red, it was only then that the pain of the hits made themselves known. Raven had thrown herself on to Robin's back, trying to restrain his hands, and knock him off to his side, and off of Gizmo. She'd only been able to do one of those; instead, knocked onto his side, in Robin's attempt to keep swinging, and trying to get free to continue his onslaught he had headbutted Raven in the nose, causing her to bleed. The second hit was from his elbow as it made contact with her ribs. Raven was a fighter yes, but she had fought with magic. Robin was a true fighter, who fought with not only his hands, but with the rest of his body. In comparison to him, her body was weak. So, when the third and fourth hit made contact with her mouth, and chest, the cry of pain wasn't something that was uncalled for. Raven was thankful though that it was enough to break Cyborg out of his trance, and pull Robin off, and to his feet. 

The police were around them, looking at them curiously. They weren't really sure what they were suppose to do, but when Starfire went over the Raven and helped her to her feet as well, Beast Boy turned to the men in blue and told them that all the villains were restrained, and ready for arrest. There were a few debates over Gizmo, but in the end he was handed over to the ambulette that took him to the hospital, with officers to stand guard. Hanging from Cyborg's arms Robin panted, calming down as he watched over Starfire and Raven. 

"Friend Raven, you are bleeding, would you like me to be of assistance?" Starfire asked, her hands hovering over her friend, unsure if she should touch the other girl. Raven wasn't paying attention to Star, though, she was watching Robin, with his mask covered eyes. Raven watched as the fight left him, limp like a ragdoll now. Raven wasn't sure if the emptiness in her was the calm before the storm- before anger flashed over here- or where she would feel the pain even more. It did not matter, she wanted to be gone, to escape, and not have to watch as Robin began to look at her with furrowed brows, as the reality of what he done sunk in. Raven just swiped under her nose, and let the blood smear as she headed back to the tower.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

The tower has been eerily quiet for the past three days. It's been accidents of running into the other teammates for Raven; she'd be making a cup of tea when Beast Boy would slip into the living room for an hour of game time and they'd play for a few passing moments, Cyborg would be fixing the sink as Raven would come out for dinner. Star even bumped into Raven as she was going shopping, but Raven didn't want to tag along. The only person that Raven hasn't seen was Robin, at least not for more than a glimpse, and not up close. Raven would see him returning to his room early in the morning as if he had been out all night, or pummeling the punching bag in the workout room until he could hardly stand. Each time, though, she stayed hidden in shadows or doorways so he would not notice her. Whenever she saw Robin he would either be boneless with exhaustion, or raging with frustration from whatever it was that was eating away at him. Raven couldn't convince herself to speak to him, not yet. If she went to him she knew the paling blue and purple on her pale skin would mock him no matter what she said; not that she even knew what to say in the first place. Instead she just vanished as she always had, haunting the tower like the ghost she had always been.

On the fourth day, however, the alarm set off, when they all raced out of their rooms it was Cyborg waiting for them instead of Robin. Shocked and confused the other four looked at one another.  
"Okay, guys, this, whatever it is, needs to stop." Cyborg said looking at each of them, Raven looked over her shoulder at Robin, analyzing his unreadable, downcasted face. Beast Boy stepped up, too, and faced them, "Yeah, Cy is right, guys. I mean come on, we've all been walking around avoiding each other these past few days, but what happens if we keep going like this? We have to spend as much time with each other now."  
"Yes we must," Starfire piped up, "You are all so important to me. I want to give all my friends hugs!" She reached out for Robin but he bent under her arms and escaped her grasp.

"You guys can say whatever it is you want, but that won't change what happened out there!" Robin fiercely pointed out to Jump City's skyline through the windows.

"That doesn't change the fact that you're our bro, Robin. You're out leader; we are all here because of you." Cyborg tried to convince him. "Would any of us even be here if it wasn't for you? I know I sure as hell wouldn't." Cyborg looked at him with a hard stare down, Robin looked up at him with an even more heated stare.

"You say that but what do you even know about me? You don't know anything about me." Robin barked at his old friend.

"Man, what are you talking about? We know you, we're your friends."

"You're my teammates."

"We know you're moody, and stubborn. You're controlling, a know-it-all, and an idiot if you think that we don't know you."  
"You know how I am, but not why." Robin barked at him.

"Then start telling us why! Why won't you just give up and accept that we are all your friends for good! But for you to accept that you need to let us in!"

"No!"

"Why not?!" Cyborg bit back.

"Because you're my teammates, not my friends, and some day soon we'll all go our separate ways, I don't need my pretend friends knowing things that can just hold me down." Robin seethed, causing the other teammates to flinch back from his words. The tension was building and if it didn't break soon a real fight between the two was sure to break out between the two best friends yet again, but with the way Robin has been acting Raven wasn't sure if their friendship really will survive this fight.

Their voices rose and their anger grew as the fighting escalated, the other titans hesitant and uncomfortable as it was quickly getting out of hand. "You couldn't possibly understand, none of you could possibly understand anything that went on out there! Out there or in here," Robin said gesturing to his head, "You don't even know what is going on!" Robin spat at Cyborg after he was pushed too far, his fists clenched at his sides.

"Then tell us."

All the titans looked at the violet haired girl, agasp. It was Robin who was the only one to look at her as if her voice in these situations was not uncommon. "What?" He asked too sharply that it made Cyborg glare at him once more.

"You said that none of us could know, or understand. Then tell us, Robin, help us understand." Raven looked at him pleadingly. It's been weeks that their steady friendship was building to something that was actually sustainable. Now that the taste of a final goodbye is becoming bitter with the growing tension, Raven wanted to make sure whatever this was that was happening to all of them- happening to Robin- it would not destroy those ties, the red string of fate that kept them all together, if not as a team then as friends. Raven's eyes pleaded with Robin to do her this one thing, to grant her this favor of reaching his hands out to them for them to help him in whatever way they could, starting with telling them what exactly was going on in his mind. Raven could sense the rising release in her chest, the crushing weight of something much bigger pressing down on her shoulders. His eyes were masked but Raven knew that Robin was aware that she was feeling whatever he was feeling. Perhaps that is why he began to rush his escape from them once more.

"I can't," he stammered looking around at all their faces, Robin's last look at Raven as he backed away. "I just can't." And with that Robin swept himself out of the room and back to his room, as steady as his feet would take him.

Left behind the other titans sat down in different spots, exhausted from their attempts and the weight of distress between them on their shoulders. "It's getting closer is it not? That sad time where we all must separate in our ways." Starfire said from her spot on the edge of the couch. Cyborg and Beast Boy looked at each other sadly, but Raven, too filled with the last of Robin's mixed emotions refused to accept it.

"No. Not yet. We aren't done yet. We may be done as heros in the city, but we aren't done as a team. Not yet." Raven pushed her hair back, frustrated as the others stared at her blankly, they've already accepted what she would not.

"Rae, there isn't more that we can do, if he won't speak to us then what could we possibly do?" Beast Boy said going to her, looking her in the eye.

"Something. We have to do something. He didn't give up on any of us, so why are we so willing to call it quits?"

"It has never been this bad, friend Raven. Even you have been hurt in all this." Starfire reminded her causing Raven to reach up and touch her still slightly bruised face.

They all sat in silence for a while longer before Cyborg finally stood up and looked out the windows, "Maybe our last mission is to help Robin, so he doesn't destroy himself when we are all gone." Raven made eye contact with him, grateful and just a little bit of hope. "But after that… I think it is time we all left and continue on our ways."

The sad reality of the decision hung in the air. Even if the others didn't think it was time, if one of them left it would never be the same. The time was actually ticking now, and Raven could hear the thrum of time passing by in her ears as the night wore on and the others went to bed. She stayed up that night, unable to meditate, unable to sleep. She stared out at the city, with her back toward the hall where her friends were all apart in their own rooms, unable to imagine a future after the titans, the family she's come to gain. She sat their and planned how to save the people she cared about as much as she could, in any way she could, and she would let nothing hold her back- not even herself.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"You couldn't sleep either, huh?" Raven looked over her shoulder to find Beast Boy, with heavy eyes, and drooping shoulders. She was so tired she didn't even sense his presence entering the room, let alone leaving his room. Frowning, she turned back to the window, as she nodded, not trusting her voice. All the plans she was making in her head throughout the night didn't seem plausible in the early dawn anymore, and she felt more stuck than when the moon was high in the sky. Beast Boy went over to the coffee machine and looked at it oddly. "He hasn't even been drinking coffee lately either, has he?" the green teammate asked her. She knew he was talking about Robin, and it stung to remember that a week ago Robin and her had been happily set in their habit of drinking from their mugs at this time in the morning. Instead here was Beast Boy with her, breaking the rules of the tradition she use to have with their masked leader. 

"I'll make us some tea." Beast Boy said, accepting her silence, as he brought down two mugs from the cabinet. "I know we are both going to need it, it already seems like it's going to be a long day." Though Raven was not used to so many words being spoken in the early morning, Beast Boy, in his more solemn state, had a soothing voice that she did not mind. He was not the regular bouncing energy he was, with his constant jokes and restless, rushed movements; he was calm, quiet, and collected, three things Raven would never have used to describe him before. Maybe, she thought, she didn't know all of him after all. So Raven went and sat at the kitchen counter as Beast Boy started the tea pot, and fiddled in the cabinet for his never used preferred flavor box of tea; peach. 

"I know that face." Raven's eyes snapped up to look at him as he said that. "You've been thinking all night, planning, haven't you?" Raven never heard Beast Boy ask so many questions, was he always unsure, always needed to make sure he was not assuming, or was this new hesitation brought on by the recent stresses in the group?  
"Yes, I've been thinking of ways we could possibly help him." Raven admitted, looking at the doorway anticipating Robin to show up when they spoke of him. He didn't. 

"Have you come up with anything?" Beast Boy asked, raising a brow in curiosity.  
"Nothing that would work." Raven admitted shaking her head. Beast Boy saw the disappointment on her face, surprised that she let her feelings show, and even more surprised that her emotions did not send anything crashing to the wall or exploding.

"Rae," Beast Boy said after a moment of silence, "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know yet, I told you that already, Beast Boy."  
"No, I mean, when the Titans are disbanded. What are you going to do?" He looked at her over the rim of his mug, his eyes sad, but curious. Raven looked at him stunned for a moment. She hadn't even thought about after, because she was too afraid for the time to even arrive.

"I don't really know…" Raven admitted drinking her tea to stall for time. The tea was a bit sweeter than she liked, but the company was nice to have again, so she didn't mind all that much. "Have you already thought about what you are going to do?"

Beast Boy looked up at the ceiling, putting his mug down for a moment as he spoke, thinking at the same time. "I was thinking about going to travel for a while, maybe visit Asia. But that is kind of a long shot, because I was never made to travel such long distances, and traveling without using my abilities is expensive. So, if I do decide that route, I might go to Steel City and be with Titans East while I save enough money for travel." Beast Boy shrugs as he looks at her, "Though traveling to the other side of the continent does seem counter productive."

"You've really given it a lot of thought. You've been thinking about this for a long time?" Raven asked him solemnly. He shook his head as he placed his mug in the sink.

"Not as long as it seems, going there is something I always wanted to do, but I never thought I would. I mean the city always needed us, and we always needed each other. But now that it is actually feeling like everything is coming to a close, I thought it was time I started to make a real plan for it, and why not it be something that I wanted to do, you know?" He was even making his own understanding a question, Raven noted. "I really just started thinking the whole thing through last night after what happened." This time it was Raven who nodded her head.

"Yeah, that makes a lot of sense, actually." She leaned on the edge of the sink, staring into the oblivion of the white of the bottom of her mug that she placed there. "I just can't seem to think of what I'm meant to do after all this." Shaking her head she continued, "I mean, I never even thought I would make it to now…"

Beast Boy put her hand on her shoulder, "Rae?" Turning around, it was the first time that Raven realized that he had finally caught up to her. When did Beast Boy height grow so much? Had she not noticed this whole time? Had they really known each other for so long that it's the first time that Raven realizes that none of them are really children anymore. "You don't have to force yourself to be alone anymore, you know that, right?" Raven furrowed her brows and looked away from him. "Seriously, Rae, I mean it. I mean, come on, just me being able to touch you shows how far we've come, right?" The warmth from him seeped into her shoulder from his hand, the shocking realization that, yes, the reality that he can place his hand on her without chaos after was a very big deal. Raven looked up at him, and she felt the lump in her throat, of the need to cry building. "Rae… Come with me."

The lightbulb above them in the kitchen shatters with the sharp concave of black from her powers. Raven wasn't expecting _that_ at all, and Beast Boy wasn't expecting her powers to go off. "Sorry." She mutters as she looks down, using the distraction not to answer him. Thankfully Beast Boy had learned a long time ago. "It's okay, Rae." He says simply laughing, it was light and airy; mayhaps not his usual boisterous and obnoxiously funny laugh, but a kind and gentle laugh that made Raven feel safe enough to look up at him with a smile. "Thank you, BB."

The sound of steel toed shoes hitting the marble floor of the kitchen made Beast Boy and Raven turn to find Robin standing there with a blank masked expression. "Robin!" Raven squeaked out, her face flushing, followed by the harsh sound of her mug exploding in the sink from her sudden rush of uncontrolled emotion. "You're up." Relief rushed through her seeing him standing there; out of his room, and at least seemingly more put together than he had been recently.

"Hey, Robin." Beast Boy simply said, a tinge of something else hanging in the air after his greeting that Raven wasn't sure to pick up on. It was almost grudging, or resentment.

However, Robin only looked at the two of them, before just walking in between them, forcing Beast Boy to remove his hand from Raven's shoulder at last, so that he can turn on the coffee machine, and then walked out once again. Raven was left standing there three feet from Beast Boy, feeling a whirlwind of spiked green emotion, and her dash of hopes dissipating from her chest.

"Gee, where does that guy learn to brood?" Beast Boy grumbled, reaching into the sink to throw out the shards of Raven's cup.  
Sitting down glumly, Raven sinks her head onto her propped up hands, "He must of learned it from-" And then her head shoots up, and she's standing so fast that the chair knocks over. "That's it! That's exactly it! I know what to do!" Raven's joyous exclamation causes all of the living room furniture to lift 6 feet in the air before slamming down to the floor again as she races to her room. Left behind, awestruck, Beast Boy stares after Raven; and all he could think was he never saw Raven so beautiful before, her face so lit up with such a smile he's never seen before. "You should really think about that offer, Rae." He called out after her, though she was long gone, he just hoped she wouldn't forget he was standing there beside her, too.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"Cy, all I'm asking for is to buy me some time." Raven admitted to him, her voice monotonous as ever. She had been asking Cyborg for this favor for a week now. Everyone in the tower has been wandering amongst the walls, with only Robin doing any hero work, and even that was just talking to JCPD on the events of the last H.I.V.E. Five attack. Raven had been putting work into her plan but it proved a bit harder than she had immediately assumed. It took her all of three days of her steady research to realize that she needed something to bode the time until she can get all the kinks worked out in the grand plan. That was were Cyborg came in.

"I don't even know what it is you want me to do, Raven. How are we suppose to bide time in the first place? We can't keep everyone mentally present as it stands, how are we going to make sure we all physically stay here until you are ready for whatever it is you are planning? You have to give me something to work with, Rae." Cyborg wipes half his face from the grease and oil. Raven had slipped out from the tower and into the garage to talk to him as he was working on the T-car, as the only place that she can talk to him without someone else possibly talking to him, it was only safe because Robin's bike was currently gone for the moment.

"I was thinking about that, too, last night, I think I might have come up with something." Raven said, as Cyborg put his tools away to give her his full attention. "Jump City isn't the only city that is losing its need for heros. Titans East has already begun disbanding two months back, remember, and only Bumblebee, Aqualad and Speedy are left in Steel City."

"Okay, so what are we suppose to do with that information, I don't get it." Cyborg admitted, sitting down and obviously confused.

"Don't you see, Cy?" Raven reveled, keeping her face schooled and still without much expression, "Invite them to the Tower, we will have our last hurrah together. Having guests, friends, over to grant an official goodbye as a team would keep everyone together for a while longer."

Cyborg seemed to be thinking about the idea heavily, Raven was sure some of his thoughts were going out to having Bumblebee come to the Tower to stay for an unknown amount of time. The two Titans had been on the verge of a possible… something when she had left, and everyone had anticipated something growing between the two, but distance and duties kept everything at a still. Raven knew this very well, and knew that offering this time with her was also a sly way of getting Cyborg to agree to the idea.

"Do you really think it will work?"

"Yes."

Cyborg looked at the violet haired girl, skeptical for a moment, and then nodded his head. "I'll call Bumblebee now then, it's better to do it as soon as possible, seeing as how fast things are deteriorating, we've waited long enough." He stood up and headed to the elevator to take him up to the Tower.

"Thank you," Raven said quietly, pulling her hood up over her head.

He was silent for a long moment, contemplating something or the other, and Raven had been looking out the garage windows hoping not to spot Robin returning while she was still suspiciously there in the garage where she never was.

"Raven, who are really trying to help with all this?"

She looked up surprised at his question as she bit her lip from the thought. Raven thought about the comfortable mornings with Robin over coffee, tea and the daily paper. She thought about Starfire and her compulsive need to be physically affectionate. Beast Boy and his insistent loud boisterous loudness, Cyborg and his unwavering calculation and care. But Raven also thought about Robin's pain, the side of Beast Boy she had just newly seen, and the new wavering hope in Cyborg. Her friends all needed help, and she still needed them.

"All of us, Cy, all of us."

* * *

Cyborg had made eye contact with her over their plates of food. Though it was a surprise to the others, Cyborg decided it was time to pull everyone out of their rabbit holes. The best way to do that was food. So, Cy had made an entire feast, even going so far as to make tofu for Beast Boy, and break out the old Tamaranian pudding that was at the back of the fridge for Starfire. For all his work, he hadn't allowed Robin to stay in his room, they were all going to eat together whether he wanted to or not. Just by the look though, Raven assumed that he had done what they planned already. That had lifted the weight, that large knot that had been settling into her stomach and for the first time in days Raven was able to properly eat. She ate her few slices of homemade pizza, and happily drank her earl grey tea. It was already going to be a good night.

"Hey you guys!" The large flat screen in the living room flicked on and was immediately filled with the faces of their friends Aqualad, Speedy, and Bumblebee. The call must have been a surprise because even Cyborg was startled, and while Beast Boy and Star squealed, the mug in Raven's hand shattered.

"Sorry, Raven." Speedy apologized, as Bumblebee laughed just the slightest.

"So, guys we just wanted to give you some heads up." Aquaman started, and Raven knew where this was going.

"There's someone coming our way?" Robin asked, ever always the man that is all about business.

Bumblebee just jumped right on his coat tail though, with a smile on her face, "Yes. Us." that dead panned Robin right away, and he didn't know what to say. Luckily, Beast Boy chimed in perfectly,

"Really?! That's great! Come on over! Get here fast, and bring some more groceries, too!"

"Beast Boy." Raven chided him, low enough to not be heard by Titans West on the other end of the screen.

Robin looked at all of them, in an odd type of way, like there were so many things being unsaid. "Bumblebee, honestly, I don't think this is the right time for a visit."

Everyone grew quiet, and the air of something that was getting awfully close to excitement dissipated from each of them. But Bumblebee wasn't having it, and she spoke to Robin directly, unflinching, and stern faced. "Cyborg already told us what's going on over there, Robin." Robin looked at his best friend with a sharp glare, "And he was right to." the Titan's West leader quickly added, bringing our leader's attention back. "And I think it is exactly the right time for a visit, Robin." With that Bumblebee went off screen, and only Aqualad and Speedy were left.

Aqualad shrugged, and gave a halfhearted wave goodbye, and Speedy just looked at all of us. "We'll see you tomorrow." was all he said before he signed off.

The silence between the five of us hung like dirty laundry airing out, and suffocating. Robin slammed his now empty plate onto the counter and stalked off to his room. Cyborg gave me a fleeting look, a sad half smile on his face. He didn't seem to have much hope in this plan for Robin anymore, but Raven was hoping there was still enough hope for the rest of us to keep him going.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

That night Raven sat up in her bed reading all night. She had been doing research, finding any way that she could possibly get into contact with a certain man that would know Robin the best. This proved to be difficult- but that was to be expected. There was a reason people hid their identities when becoming heroes- or whatever he wanted to call himself, and getting in contact with someone who had no real public identity was obviously going to be harder than looking up in a phone booth. Raven found a string of suspicions of who he has contact with, but she has found nothing sure fire as of yet.

Anxieties flooded her veins, her fingertips tingled. Looking up into her empty surroundings, only the dim light of the laptop she borrowed lit her room. She felt the movement of a presence and she was surprised to sense him going to the training room, he'd even been rejecting his workout regimen as of late. Getting up and going to the doorway of the training room Raven watched Robin wrap his hands, prepping for the punching bag.

"Robin."

The Boy Wonder looked up at her, his eyes gone wide from being startled, the whites of the mask empty of whatever true emotion his eyes would show. But Raven didn't need to see his eyes to know his feelings, she already felt the conflict; the confusion, the sense of being lost, the heartache. Robin schooled his expression though he knew that it was pointless around the empath. "Raven," He paused for a moment, as though he was thinking of what excuse to use, what lie would sound best plausible. "Sorry I woke you." he finished lamely. They both knew well enough that Raven would not ask for an explanation. Raven stared at him for a long moment, neither of them saying a word before she just gave him the smallest of nods, floated in the air, crossed her legs and closed her eyes; meditating. She sensed Robin hesitate, he had expected to be alone, but that was not an option now so instead she heard him sigh and he walked over and sat on the bench beside the pale girl, sitting there in silence, meditating with her.

"What makes you keep going, Raven?" It wasn't so much as the sudden question from the leader that gave Raven as start, but the question. And with that shock the lightbulb popped with black aura.

"I'm sorry." She mumbled, sighing, lightbulbs were being bought in bulk recently, as Raven tried to show more emotion lately.

"It's okay, I just want an answer." Robin prodded, and Raven was unsettled by his persistence for an answer. Raven looked at him in the dark, only the bright colours of his uniform giving him away- that and the abyss of white on his mask.

"I guess it would be you guys." Raven said looking away keeping her face blank, her emotions a slate to be cleared off. "I'm only now starting to get the real connections that you all have been making this whole time since the beginning of this team, I'm only now getting the chance to see all the little things about you all." Raven found herself happy in the fact that she could finally speak on the subject. She was able to share what she had learned. "I mean, just the other day, Beast Boy showed a completely gentle side of him I didn't even know he possessed, and it threw me off guard. I didn't think that he ever had a side like that to him." The violet haired girl her a single chuckle to her statement from beside her. "I'm serious. And in all my life, since I've known you guys I didn't think we would all even get as far as we've come, I thought there was only one part of me that will ever be important, and you all proved that wrong to me. And I want more. I want more than this, too. I want all of it. I want to _live_."

"_It's sim to a choomer, kushti for kek till it's pordered atween dui_."

Robin collapsed onto the floor with a snap of splintering wood, as black aura consumed it before breaking. "What did you just say Robin?" Raven asked him, on her feet as Robin struggled to get up.

"Nothing, I didn't say anything."

"Yes, you did, you said something. Something in another language. What was it?"

"Nothing." Robin replied gruffly, walking away. "I'm going to bed."

Raven stayed up all night trying to think of the saying that he had used, writing her guesses on a small piece of paper that she kept on her bedside table.

* * *

In the early afternoon, after the quiet morning, Titans East finally arrived. The morning was spent apart, mostly. Each Titan had been in their rooms, isolated, and alone before the remaining of Titans East they did Bumblebee flew in like a hurricane. She pulled, and pushed everything out of its place, and in no time everyone was in the living room sitting around in the giant circle couch chatting away. Cyborg was pleased, as he sat with Bumblebee on his right, his arm casually draped over the couch behind her, they looked as comfortable as they once were- and they seemed to fall into an easy pattern that they all saw coming many times before.

Beast Boy and Aqualad were talking about their special diets, Aqualad talked of his restriction on seafood, and Beast Boy's vegetarianism. BB was arguing over the fact that Aqualad should include all animals into his protection of being labeled food.

Speedy, ever the trouble maker smirked, and nudged Raven to have her watch what he was about to do. "You two are both missing out." The ginger piped up, "Fish tacos have got to be the best things I've ever tasted. It could convert." Therein lie the end of the peaceful conversations, as Aqualad and Beast Boy began arguing quite loudly with the unapologetic Speedy, who seemed to be enjoying it rather fully. Raven offered the smallest smiled, shaking her head. Speedy was always a menace to everyone, it was a charm that he had that made everyone still like him, ironically enough. It was only the corner of the couch, with their quietly brooding leader that was the black hole of sound. Robin sat there, stubborn, and arms crossed, as if he refused to have fun. He only watched the rest of them; he must have been watching how active Cyborg had become in Bumblebee's presence, Beat Boy's conversation never went into so much depth before, and just how comfortable Raven was next to Speedy. she was trying to remember the last time they all got to be like this, she wondered when was the last time they had all felt truly carefree- all but Robin, of course.

The anger, frustration, and distress seemed to be boiling up in Robin all day, he simmered in it, clung to it. It was at the dinner when everyone was deciding on what they wanted to eat when he had finally had enough. He was getting up to leave, to go to his room, or perhaps train some, when Speedy looked at Raven noticed the slightest fall in her expression, something that most wouldn't pick up on, and decided to do something.

"Where're you going, Wonder Boy?" Speedy called out to him. Robin, annoyed, turned around to reply to find all six of his friends staring at him, waiting. There was no real reason to leave, it was a day off, and there was no reason for him to leave dinner with all of them, especially on the Titans East first day at the Tower.

"I am going to my room, I'm not hungry. I'm fine." Raven felt the nerves, Robin wasn't even going to bother to stay. She wasn't sure if the anxieties were hers or his anymore, all she was knew was that as he was retreating she looked at Cyborg, and something on her face must of told him something, expressed something that made his face crumple and curl the way it did. It was an expression Raven had never seen on Cyborg's face before. He was fuming and looked so disappointed when he called out to Robin.

"Get back here, Robin, and sit down. Stop acting like a child." The whole room went dead, and Raven looked at Cy with wide eyes, before looking at their leader, his back was still turned.. She noticed his fists were clenched so tight his hands were shaking from the strain.

"I need some time to myself."

"You've had nothing but time to yourself, Robin." Cyborg pointed out, frustrated. "We have our friends here now, who came to visit. The least you can do is stay out here with all of us on their first day."

"I've had enough of playing host. They can entertain themselves."

Bumblebee grumbled under her breath, and Speedy looked like he was going to throw a fit. Starfire was the only one who seemed more worried than angry or uncomfortable.

"Robin, won't you please stay with us. We miss you, as well, do you not know?" Starfire pleaded.

"I told you already, it wasn't a good time to visit." Robin snapped at Bumblebee, talking to Titan East members as they scowled at him, and when he turned to Starfire his features didn't smooth over in the least like they usually did. "You'll be fine without me."

"Come on, man." Beast Boy complained, but Robin didn't bother, as he stood there with his own jaded expression, as if he had been cheated out of something- but that made no sense to Raven.

"Robin, Raven had been hoping that this would get you to come back and loosen up from whatever this is that you're going through." Cyborg threw out into the open. Robin's face seemed to fall slightly as he looked Raven. She felt the discomfort as all the eyes turned on her. No one had known that this get together was her idea except for Cyborg, no one expected to see any show of concern from the one girl who was suppose to compose all of her emotions.

Robin looked at her for a moment before shaking his head, "Raven doesn't care about my habits, nor would she bother with crowding herself with more people than she likes." Robin pointed out logically. And logically it made sense, but for once, when Raven wasn't thinking about being rational, and only about the feelings and well being of her friends, and the relationships they would share when there was no more Teen Titans, hearing that she did not care hit her like a force.

"Don't be an idiot." Raven finally spoke up, "Shouldn't we all be here together, while we all still are together?" She countered, skating over the nagging of Robin's emotions in her veins.

They were being thrown are her, burying her insides. The confusion, the anger… The loneliness. There was so much, wave after wave of his psyche already being hurled at her, that just getting mentally knocked down for one moment had sent her spiralling into Robin's subconscious mind.

She saw the big top, the stripes, the crowd. She saw the shadow of a man and woman standing up high in the air in the spotlight, heard the faint cheers and awe inspiring sounds, smelled the buttery scent of popcorn and sugar of cotton candy. The vision of the two performers was blurry, and she could not focus to get a clearer picture of them. Raven felt the sadness that came with the memory, the heartache- that is where it came from. Everything that had to do with this memory, had to do with whatever was affecting Robin.

"Get out of my head!"

She was thrown back into her own body, to find that not only were the lights blown out, due to her powers breaking the bulbs, but there was a fire that Aqualad and Beast Boy were attending to in a patch of the carpet. Robin stood there, shaking like a leaf, seemingly both small and gigantic to the Azarathian. She had never been on the receiving end of Robin's true wrath before, and it did not scare her as much as it troubled her. Robin stepped forward to her, but Speedy and Cyborg got in the way, and now Raven really was worried about what Robin had been thinking he was going to do, and the accidental punch he had thrown at her came to mind. Between their shoulders Robin glared at her.

"Those are my memories." He said, his voice hard as stone. "I don't want you ever in my head, again." This time the team let him storm out, everyone shaken. Starfire was consoling Bumblebee who was angry at the way they were all being treated, and Beast Boy and Cyborg were barraging Raven with questions about what she saw. But really she had no energy anymore, as if it had all flown out of her when she slipped into Robin's mind.

As they all tried to settle down Speedy offered a small consolation prize for all the trouble. "Why don't we all go out to get pizza?" Everyone looked at one another, it sounded far better than staying at the Tower any longer after the uncomfortable incident. As they all trailed out to the elevator, Raven hung back, looking at the entrance to the hall, as though waiting for Robin to change his mind and return. A hand rested on her shoulder, someone brave enough to risk further fires by having physical contact with her. Thankfully there were no consequences this time. When Raven looked up she saw Speedy standing there, looking down into her violet eyes.

"Let's go, Raven." Though her expression was vacant something must have hinted to her now rattled emotions. "Would you like to take a ride in my motorcycle with me?"

"I can fly, Speedy, I don't think that's necessary."

"No one said anything about necessary. I'm asking if you would like to ride with me."

"Why?" She questioned, confused as she looked up at him, trying to school her emotions before she set him aflame.

"Because then you get to wrap your arm around me- and I feel like would be the closest thing you would accept to a hug right about now." He said it smugly, as though both he knew he was right, and that it would be a pleasure for her to be able to get to do this.

"Shut up, let's get going." Raven said as she walked passed him, as he followed. Keeping her face down she was able to conceal the small smile of humor she had on her face, but she knew the shatter of glass somewhere off in the hall did not escape Speedy's hearing. Her powers were surely the cause, and he knew that, and that meant her reaction to his statement was everything he wanted it to be. Speedy smirked, knowing full well that he was about to get exactly what he wanted.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Raven stood there staring at the contraption. Of course, it wasn't the first time that she has seen a motorcycle; Robin had one and used it frequently. But never before had she thought about riding one. Raven never had to think about it before, with her ability to fly, she was never tempted to take a ride.

"Rae, what are you doing?" Cyborg called from the T-car. Aqualad, Bumblebee, Cyborg and Beast Boy were all already piled in, there would be little to no space for her if she decided to change her mind. But then she looked back at the bike, and looked at the red head staring at her as he balanced on the motorcycle. Speedy was watching her, and while his face was masked like Robin's, he still seemed to don his emotions far more on his sleeves. Raven felt the scourge of challenge piercing at her skin from him.

"I'm going to ride with Speedy." Raven called out to her friends as she stepped toward the bike. "Okay, how am I suppose to do this?" She huffed, feeling ridiculous.

"Come on now, Raven, you can't possibly tell me you've never rode with Wonder Boy on his bike before; he's far too much of a Casanova to not have even try and pass up an opportunity like this." Raven felt Speedy's smugness radiating off of him.

"I've never been on his bike." Raven deadpanned, and it only made the ginger's smile more broad.

"This is too great." Speedy teased as the other titans honked the car horn for them to hurry up. "Oh be quiet over there! Don't ruin this for me! I'm enjoying this!" Speedy called out to them, and Cyborg gave him a dark look and Raven could feel the wall of protectiveness rising in him. Turning back to her, Speedy gave her a Cheshire smile. "Here's what you're going to do," he directed her movements, holding out his hand to her. "Take my hand, and I'll help balance you while you swing your legs to the opposite side of the bike."

"But you're taking up all the space on it already." Raven pointed out, though she stepped closer a little more.

"Well, obviously, I'll be the one driving." Speedy replied sarcastically, "you'll be getting on behind me."

"But there isn't another seat."

"Then you better sit close."

Raven's face flushed, and Cyborg honked the horn again, shooting daggers at Speedy from over the steering wheel. Using his hand as balance, as he suggested, Raven swung her leg to the other side, and sat with the motorcycle between her, the tilt of the seat pressing her against Speedy's back. Looking back at her from over his shoulder, Speedy gave Raven a pleased smile. In consequence Cyborg's tool area collapsed with black aura, and Speedy and Raven heard Cy's horrified yelp, Raven wincing knowing full well that her emotions are getting out of control as of late.

"We should go." She suggested.

"Hold on then." Speedy kicked off, starting the bike and they were revving off to Jump City, the T-car right behind them. Raven kept her hands on his shoulder blades, clinging to the bunched up fabric of his shirt in her hands. The ride was actually great, Raven was surprised to admit. It was much like flying- yet not, all at once. It was a difficult sensation to pinpoint. The air was rushing past her, and she felt the wind blowing her hair back. The rush of the ride was accelerating her heart beat, a feeling she didn't get anymore with flying, because it came so naturally now. On the motorcycle it was different, it was new, and it made her feel… Alive. When they got to the the city the experience shifted, it went from flying to sweeping across the city. They were zooming between cars, between people, back roads and shortcuts. When flying Raven always had a bird's eye view of the world, on the motorcycle it felt like she was clicking fast forward on a walk through the city. They came to a stop around the corner from the Pizza Corner. The rest of the titans were still somewhere along the way, the T-car stuck in traffic that Speedy's motorcycle was able to get around. Getting off, Raven swung her legs around, and watched as Speedy turned off the bike and got off himself. Leaning against it, as it tilted onto its stand, Speedy looked at Raven with a smile.

"You had fun." It wasn't a question, and Raven could feel the pride bubbling in him.

"What makes you say that?" Raven challenged unwilling to admit it to someone so cocky.

"Because you're smiling; you're smiling that soft, small smile you give when you're actually happy and not forcing it." Raven hadn't even noticed that she was smiling- and even more so, feeling happy without having anything explode, crush, fall or break. She schooled her face with a single chuckle, looking up at the marksman. She had not noticed before now that he was taller than she remembered. He must have been at least an inch taller than Robin, and he was definitely taller than Raven's own five foot nine.

Laughing Speedy declared that he would make sure that Beast Boy and Aqualad didn't ruin is options for pizza toppings, making Raven shake her head. "You really love to mess with them, don't you?" But Speedy just looked down at her and shook his own head.

"Of course I do, it's one of my favorite pass times." He joked.

"You're a nuisance." Raven told him, trying not to crack a smile, she had to admit, sometimes the stupid things he did to rile them up was, maybe, _kind of _funny.

Speedy looked down at her this time, crossing his arms over his chest. "Come on now, Raven I thought we had an agreement. You should know me better than that." This time Raven did smile. "You know that I am a lot smarter than I portray to be, and I know that you feel a lot more than you let others believe."

It had been easy, the last time Speedy and Titans East were visiting Jump City for Raven to connect with Speedy. After a fiasco involving a dozen odd number of various kinds of vandalized stuffed animals, and ketchup, Raven had been the one that was forced to remove Speedy from Titan Tower until it was safe for his return. During that eventless evening, Speedy and Raven actually spoke about so many different things that shamefully Raven thinks that he possibly knew more about her than her own teammates. They spoke on books, and cultures, their friends, memories they were fond of. Speedy might actually be use to the explosions around Raven during emotionally unchecked times, because their conversations sometimes brought out those things in her. Raven didn't think the others knew that Speedy and her had gotten fairly close, they kept in contact sometimes, occasionally sending packages to one another- she had gotten a book from Speedy on the Navajo culture just two months ago. Raven didn't think it was anything to really speak on, she could have friends of her own and not have to tell them, but for some reasons she also felt like they would make a rather big deal over the fact that they are so familiar with one another.

While they waited for the rest of the Titans Raven spoke to him about the book he got me, telling him what he had learned from it so far and they had a very interesting conversation about religion in the Navajo culture, which ended in them making plans to swing by a bookstore to see if they had anything on the topic. When the other titans arrived, the T-car parked right in front of Speedy's motorcycle they found Raven and Speedy quietly chatting as they leaned against the wall.

"I don't think I've ever seen Raven speak so many words in a sentence before." Beast Boy teased, as he got out of the car. Aqualad looked at Speedy with an odd expression on his face, and Raven sensed the understanding that he was feeling. Raven quickly grew more quiet after Beast Boy's comment, as all seven of them headed to the Pizza parlor. Everyone was chatting, and Raven even added her own hums and responses to the conversation. Once the pizza arrived everyone seemed to slow down and dig into their food, hungry people who are eating are always the quietest.

"I still can't believe you managed to get our Raven onto a motorcycle, speedy." Cyborg commented, Raven knew Cyborg was being brotherly, questioning Speedy, but he also was somewhat awed by it as well.

"It won't be so difficult next time, she seemed to enjoy it." Speedy teased, Raven was glaring at him as he sent a raspberry her way. "I actually put in a new engine recently, so it's running a lot smoother than before." That led the conversation away from the empath's ride, and the boys started discussing the mechanics of their vehicles. Bumblebee, who was sitting next to Raven looked at her, and spoke with her mouth full.

"I think it was more surprising that Speedy let you on his bike." She pointed out. "He wouldn't let Mas or Menos touch it with a ten foot pole and they were basically like his little brothers." There was a moment of sadness that Raven saw pass through Bumblebee. It was understandable why. Mas and Menos had been the first of the titans to leave either group. They had went off with a government agency that had offered to grant them not only citizenship, schooling, but also super hero training. Though it had made them all sad to say goodbye to their young friends, they all understood as well.

Looking at the redhead sitting across from her, Raven thought about what Bumblebee had said. Sure, Speedy was someone she might even consider as close to her, so she supposed it would make sense that she would be seen as close to him as well- that would give good reason to why he had her ride with him, which is so rare that it was seen as odd by someone who saw him every day. That had to be the reason. But the more Raven stared at Speedy the more she came to realize that the reason did not matter. In fact the best reason at all one was so simple that she had originally looked over. She had made a friend in Speedy, perhaps a bond that would continue after they all went off on their separate ways. Speedy turned to catch Raven looking at him, and he gave a wide grin that stretched across his face, and Raven offered the ghost of a smile right back.

As they all walked back to the parking spaces, Raven hanging towards the back of the group as usual, Starfire slowed to be beside her. "It is odd to be making merry without Robin here, is it not?"

Raven looked at the group in front of them, and could just imagine the space between Speedy and Cyborg where Robin would be. It was the ghost of his presence that lingered between all of them that kept them from being as rowdy as they would normally have been. It was only then that Raven realized that Starfire had hardly spoken today, and that Beast Boy has not shifted at the table when telling his stories. Even Cyborg, who had seemed the most normal of them, the most put off by Robin at the moment, repeatedly checked his communicator.

Raven wished that her email had been received, and hopefully answered when she checks tonight. Maybe things will change, maybe there's still a little bit of hope.


End file.
